


Hold Down the Fort

by NakedOwlMan



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Battle, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 01:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/656536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NakedOwlMan/pseuds/NakedOwlMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Shepard only took two squadmates with her like she does every single other time she leaves the Normandy, the rest of the crew must work together to fend off the Collector assault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Down the Fort

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for a prompt on the Mass Effect Kink Meme: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/5367.html?thread=19769335#t19769335

"...telling you, EDI, your readings are off," Jacob heard as he walked into the cockpit. "It's radiation bleed, just white noise."  
  
"What's going on, Joker?" Jacob asked, feeling that familiar twinge. While he acknowledged that this Reaper IFF device was the only way they were going to make it through the Omega 4 relay in one piece, something about installing a device that originated from the enemy of all organic life put him on edge just a little bit.  
  
Joker rolled his eyes. "Nothing. EDI's just getting paranoid. Reaper IFF's throwing off some weird static, she says."  
  
"I have detected a signal embedded in the static. We are transmitting the Normandy's location."  
  
"Transmitting?" Jacob asked. "To who?"  
  
And as if on cue, the star view outside the cockpit was suddenly filled with a familiar and horrifying sight.  
  
"Oh, shit!" Joker exclaimed.  
  
"Joker, pull us around!" Jacob commanded. "With that new cannon Garrus installed, a few good shots on that thing will blow it to pieces!"  
  
Joker tapped several buttons on the control panel frantically. "I've lost control! EDI, what's going on?"  
  
"Propulsion systems are disabled. I'm detecting a virus in the ship's computers," EDI explained.  
  
"From the IFF?" Joker said. "Dammit, why didn't you scrub it?"  
  
"Primary defense systems are offline. We can defeat the Collectors, but you must help me."  
  
Jacob heard a thumping sound in the distance, and looked over his shoulder as the bridge crew rushed to the armory to arm themselves against the incoming threat.  
  
"Whatever it is, EDI," Jacob said. "It better be quick."  
  
"Give me the ship," EDI answered.  
  
* * *  
  
Zaeed had been having a wonderful dream, his fingers digging roughly into the flesh of Vido's neck as he cut off his windpipe and watched him gasp for air that he would never receive. Just as he saw the light dim in his old enemy's eyes was when he heard the thumping sound.  
  
"What the bloody hell..." he muttered as he sat up from his cot, looked toward the window to the cargo bay, and saw three of those blighted Collectors hovering there, pounding on the glass with their weapons.  
  
"Shit," the aged merc exclaimed, reaching under his cot and retrieving the M-96 Mattock underneath. Snarling, he fired into the glass, the bullets passing through and shredding the bug-looking things to pieces.  
  
Stepping cautiously forward, weapon at the ready, Zaeed saw a larger group of Collectors entering through the hangar bay. Way too many for him to take on by himself.  
  
He made for the door, but paused before leaving. "Won't let those bastards get their hands on you, babe," he muttered under his breath, as he grabbed Jessie and slung her across his back.  
  
* * *  
  
"Give you the ship?" Jacob asked incredulously.  
  
"The only way I will be able to purge the Collector virus," EDI explained, "would be to give me full access to all of the Normandy's systems. Once that is done, we may be able to launch an offensive against the Collector vessel."  
  
Jacob shook his head. "I don't like it. There's gotta be another way."  
  
"I assure you, Jacob, that there is not," EDI calmly explained. "While there is no way of estimating how many enemies are currently manning the Collector vessel, probability analysis suggests there is a 99.8% certainty that they would be capable of overwhelming the current crew of the Normandy within 30 minutes at the most."  
  
"Jacob, we can trust her," Joker rotated his chair to face the Cerberus officer. "She can be annoying, yeah, but she's on our side."  
  
Jacob looked over his shoulder again, to see several members of the crew aiming rifles at the lift door, ready for the enemy to arrive. "Guess we don't have much of a choice. Alright, we'll do it."  
  
"Thank you, Jacob. I will send word to Legion to activate my..."

"No!" Jacob cut the AI off. "I may be willing to give you access to the Normandy, but damned if I'm going to let a geth be the one to take your shackles off. I'll go down there myself," Jacob looked down at Joker. "Be ready. Once we get those systems unlocked, I want you to hit that thing with everything we've got!"  
  
"You bet," Joker said. "Just hope you get this done before those things make their way up here."  
  
Dashing down the hallway, Jacob reached the CIC just as the doors to the lift slid open, and a massive Praetorian came into view. Twenty sets of glowing eyes locked onto Jacob, and the creature let out a horrifying shriek.  
  
* * *  
  
"They're coming in through the goddamn windows!" Zaeed exclaimed as he rushed out of starboard cargo and saw several crew members arming themselves with assault rifles. "We gotta get off this level." When the confused crew didn't respond at first, Zaeed barked out, "Now, dammit!"  
  
One of the ensigns hit the lift summon button, only to see a blinking light in return. "Those things took the lift from Deck 5 up to the CIC. I think some got off on the crew deck, too."  
  
"Out of the way," said a voice from behind Zaeed. Tali came charging up, her omni-tool glowing on her hand as she held it up to the lift panel. "This should throw a wrench in their plans."  
  
The two other engineers followed from the engine room. "What are we going to do?" said Donnelly. "Those things are all over the place, and we've lost control of the ship completely!"  
  
"All I know is if we don't get off this level soon, those things are gonna swarm us," Zaeed said, watching as Tali worked. "You any closer to bringing that lift down, girl?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Tali said, and even without seeing her face, Zaeed could hear the smile in her voice. "All the way down."  
  
* * *  
  
Just as the creature reared back to fire, there was a loud screeching sound, and with a whoosh of air the Praetorian, and the lift it was standing in, disappeared from sight. By the time Jacob had computed what just happened, he heard the loud crash of the lift hitting the bottom of the shaft, hard.  
  
"Well, that took care of that thing," Jacob mused. "Gonna make getting down to EDI's core a little more difficult, though."  
  
"Go through the lab, Jacob," said EDI's voice, as her spherical projection appeared on the wall. "The maintenance shaft there will allow passage to the AI core."  
  
Jacob nodded. "Got it." He held up a hand to one of the crew, who tossed him a shotgun. Moving quickly, he passed through the doors into the science lab.  
  
"Ah, Jacob, good of you to check on me," Mordin said as Jacob charged in. "Assume you and rest of crew are handling current Collector situation, then?"  
  
Jacob cocked his head at the strangely nonchalant salarian. "We're trying. I'm heading down through the maintenance shaft to try to get control of the Normandy back. You should come with me, Doctor. It's not safe up here."  
  
"Nonsense. Will be perfectly fine here," Mordin studied several beakers on his lab table. "Besides, crawling through tunnels... not pleasant. Puts strain on knees, back... would rather make stand here if it becomes necessary."  
  
There was no time to argue. "Fine, Doctor. Just keep an eye out on that shaft, and shoot any heads that pop up with more than two eyes, alright?"  
  
"Can take of myself," Mordin said, his eyes never leaving the chemicals in front of him. "Best of luck, Jacob."  
  
Jacob glanced back once more at the unperturbed salarian scientist, before climbing down the ladder to Deck 3.  
  
* * *  
  
"What the hell'd you do that for?" Zaeed barked at the quarian. The sound of the lift hitting the deck below them, with all emergency brakes disabled and maximum acceleration, still rang in his ears.  
  
"We need to keep the Collectors confined to this level," Tali explained. "If they spread across the entire ship, we'll never be able to get them off of here."  
  
Zaeed turned around to see Collectors making their way toward the shattered Starboard Cargo window, while others started hovering up to the Port Cargo window to begin banging on the glass. "So, how the hell we gonna get off this level to do that? With the lift all blown to hell and all."

"Maintenance tunnels," Tali said, waving back toward the door to the engine room. "Down in the lower levels, it'll get us back up to Level 3 and the rest of the crew."  
  
"Well, let's get going, then," Zaeed said, just as several Collectors began emerging from Starboard Cargo. "Get moving, I'll cover you!"  
  
"Wait," said Daniels, looking over at Port Cargo. "What about Grunt?"  
  
Firing a few shots at the oncoming Collectors, Zaeed spared a glance back at Port Cargo. The windows had been destroyed, and Zaeed caught a glimpse of the krogan charging at one of the Collectors who had breached his personal area. Soon, however, the krogan was lost from view, surrounded by the invaders.  
  
"No way we'll get to him," Zaeed said. "Gonna have to leave him behind." Shooting off several more shots at the Collectors taking cover at the doorway to Starboard Cargo, Zaeed snapped at the rest of them. "Get your asses moving! We don't have much time."  
  
Looking sadly over at Port Cargo, and the spot where Grunt had previously been visible, Tali finally nodded, leading the human crew members through the doorway and down the stairs to the maintenance access hatch.  
  
After everyone else was clear, Zaeed tossed an Inferno Grenade into the cargo bay and dove through the door, the sound of the explosion muffled by the metal doors sliding shut.  
  
As he quickly dashed down the stairs and met the rest of the crew, he glanced over at the cot at the other end of the room. "Where's the crazy bird?" he asked Tali.  
  
"I don't know. She wasn't down here," Tali said, as she opened the hatch and ushered Daniels up the ladder.  
  
"Must have been up getting a bite or something," Zaeed said with a shrug, keeping an eye out for the Collectors as the rest of the crew went up into the tunnels.  
  
* * *  
  
Jumping off the ladder into Life Support, Jacob was greeted by Thane, loading his sniper rifle. "It appears that our enemy has grown impatient," the serene drell said. "I assume we have some sort of plan to remove them from our ship?"  
  
"We do," Jacob said. "But I need to get to the AI core. Any idea how bad is it out there?"  
  
"I was out there earlier, but did not have a weapon on me. From what I saw before I managed to return here, however, there was a large Collector force assaulting this level," Thane said, as he and Jacob stepped to the door. "Not sure how much of a chance we stand, but regardless, I am with you."  
  
Jacob wasn't sure how much he could trust an assassin to have his back, but at this point he couldn't afford to be picky. "Alright, get ready." Balling up a fist, Jacob slammed the door button.  
  
Outside the door, three Collectors were waiting. "Fire!" Jacob called out. Two shots from Thane's shredder ammo-enhanced rifle tore gaping holes into one of the enemies, while Jacob's incendiary ammo set alight a second. The third Collector quickly raised his rifle, only to suddenly seize up and tumble to the floor, stricken by an unseen attacker that quickly blinked into view.  
  
"Jacob!" Kasumi exclaimed, leaping forward and embracing the surprised Jacob. "Thank God you made it! I was so worried!"  
  
Thane stared at the two humans with amusement. "I have also survived," he mildly interjected.  
  
"Well... that's good, too!" Kasumi quickly covered, stepping awkwardly away from Jacob.  
  
"What's the situation down here?" Jacob said.  
  
Kasumi gestured back into the hallway. "Not great. A lot of those things got off on this floor. Most of the crew have sealed themselves into the medbay, and Miranda and... uh, I mean Miranda is locked in her office. And with Garrus and Samara off with Shepard, I've been pretty much on my own out here."  
  
Thane glanced at the two humans. "The three of us against a squad of Collectors? I've faced worse odds."  
  
* * *  
  
"It's only a matter of time before they get in here," Kelly nervously said, watching as the Collectors and other Reaper creatures milled around on the deck. Several of them were pounding on the glass leading to the medbay, while others were working on opening the door to Miranda's office.  
  
"We just gotta hold out until Shepard gets back," Gardner assured the worried yeoman. "I'm sure Joker's already gotten a message to the Commander to get back here pronto."

Dr. Chakwas tried to keep her hands from shaking as she watched the hideous creatures outside her window striking at the glass, cracks already beginning to appear in the surface. "And if Joker wasn't able to get a message out?"  
  
Nobody answered that. Just when despair seemed to fill the occupants of the room, there was a sharp whistle. "Hey, there," said Kasumi, perched on top of the mess hall table and holding out both of her hands with a grin. "Catch!" With deft aim, she hurled both of the orbs in her hands into both groups of Collectors. There was a loud bang and bright light, and everyone in the medbay winced and shielded their eyes, too late to not be flash-blinded.  
  
Kelly's vision came back first, and she blinked as she saw the last few Collectors being lifted in the air and hurled with great force against a wall. By the time her hearing returned, the gunfire and other sounds of combat had faded as well.  
  
"Hmm, looks like we missed all the fun," said a voice behind them, and Kelly turned to see Zaeed, Tali, and the engineering crew step out from the AI core.  
  
* * *  
  
"Miranda!" Jacob called out. "The coast is clear, you can open the door."  
  
There was no response at first, and Jacob worried that maybe some Collectors had found a way inside. Finally, though, he heard, "Okay, we're coming out!"  
  
"'We're?'" Jacob repeated back, and the door slid open to reveal Miranda and... "Jack? What are you doing in there?"  
  
"Was in the mess hall when shit started going down," Jack said. "Cheerleader's room seemed like the most secure place to be. What, what did you think I was doing in there?"  
  
Jacob looked over at Miranda, who quickly avoided eye contact. "Nothing, I was just..."  
  
"Because nothing was happening in there!" Jack quickly blurted out. "So whatever dirty thoughts are going through your mind, you can just forget..."  
  
"Jack, please!" Miranda exclaimed, gently pushing Jack aside. "It doesn't matter. Right now, we need to figure out how we're going to get the Collectors off this ship."  
  
Jacob took a deep breath. "We think we've got a plan, but... I'm not sure you're going to like it much. EDI says the only way we'll be able to take back control of the Normandy is unshackle her."  
  
"What?" cried out Tali, who stormed out of the medbay. "It's bad enough we've got a geth on this ship. Now we're going to give an AI free reign?"  
  
"Creator Tali'Zorah," Legion had joined the group out in the mess hall. "While your distrust of AI is understandable considering our species' mutual history, we believe that EDI would not present a threat if given full access to the Normandy systems."  
  
Tali sighed. "One AI vouching for another doesn't really give me much comfort here, Legion."  
  
Jacob held up a hand to halt the discussion. "Look, I'm not happy about it either, but unless we want Shepard to come back and find us all dead or abducted, right now I think it's our only option."  
  
"Fine," Tali acquiesced. "Let me do it, at least. If anything... strange happens once EDI's restraints are removed, I'll be the most equipped to deal with it."  
  
Jacob nodded. "Alright. Do it."  
  
As Tali walked away, EDI's voice came out over the intercom. "Unfortunately, Mr. Taylor, unlocking my systems in the AI core will not be enough."  
  
"What?" Jacob said. "Dammit, EDI, you said you could get control back of the ship!"  
  
"And I can, Jacob. But the primary drive still needs to be activated by hand, in Engineering."  
  
"No goddamn way," Zaeed jabbed a thumb back at the medbay. "We just came up from there; that level is crawling with those bastards."  
  
Donnelly nodded in agreement. "Not to mention that we sealed off the access hatch to engineering when we came through. Even if we opened it, the tunnel is probably crawling with Collectors. No way you're getting past them through there."  
  
"Well, what other options do we have, here?" Jacob said, frustration in his voice.  
  
"I can offer a suggestion," EDI said, her voice now coming from the other side of the deck. The crew followed her voice to the lift doors, which slid open as they arrived. "The lift may be disabled, but you can still use the shaft to reach the Engineering section."

Stepping forward, Jacob glanced down into the darkness. "Long way down. But looks like it's the only way we're getting to Engineering." He turned back to the group. "Two of you are with me. The rest of you stay here, make sure nobody else comes up after us."  
  
Kasumi quickly stepped forward. "I'm with you, Jacob!" she exclaimed, rushing over to stand by his side. "Me and you together, those things won't stand a chance."  
  
"Hold on, Jacob," Miranda said. "I'm the XO of this ship, and in Shepard's absence I'm in charge, not you." With a light smile she added. "Therefore, I order you to have my back when we go take down those Collectors bastards together."  
  
"Guess I can't say no to that," Jacob said. Reaching out, he grabbed one of the lift cables. "The rest of you, be ready. If things go badly down there, you might need to come and bail our asses out."  
  
As the three of them prepared to descend, Jack cried out. "Wait!" she moved to stand in front of Miranda. "Don't get yourself killed down there," she said, and then quickly added, "Be... because then I wouldn't get the chance to kill you myself, you... Cerberus bitch!"  
  
"I won't," Miranda said with a smile, before turning and grabbing onto the lift cable, sliding down gracefully into the darkness.  
  
"Wh... what was..." Jacob stared at Jack, who quickly turned away from him and began pacing the deck nervously.  
  
"Jacob, get moving!" Kasumi said, as she leapt into the air and snagged one the cables, climbing hand-over-hand down the cable.  
  
Shaking his head, Jacob grabbed onto the thick wire and began slowly making his way down the lift shaft.  
  
* * *  
  
"Thank you, Tali," EDI said, as Tali performed the final steps to grant the AI access to all of the Normandy's systems. "I hope that my subsequent actions are enough to gain your trust."  
  
"I hope that as well, EDI," Tali said, turning to leave and gasping as she saw that she was not alone. "Legion, what are you doing here?"  
  
"We apologize if our presence startled you," Legion said. "But we wished to be present for this occasion."  
  
"What occasion is that?" Tali said, a light trace of bitterness in her voice. "Me betraying everything my people stand for by putting my trust in an AI?"  
  
The plates above Legion's head-light twitched slightly. "There are some among the geth who believe that war between our people and the quarian-creators is a constant. That one of our races will inevitably be forced to destroy the other, and that we should prepare ourselves against such an inevitability. To see one of the quarian-creators put their faith in an AI would provide an alternate viewpoint."  
  
"You really think seeing a quarian unchain an AI would really make that much of a difference?"  
  
"We are uncertain. Many large events spawn from smaller events. The Morning War was precipitated by a single question. Perhaps peace between our species could begin with a simple act of trust."  
  
Tali pondered this a second. "Perhaps. Although I'm sure the fact that I really have no other choice will reduce the impact of it a bit."  
  
"We would..." Legion's next words were cut off by the sound of gunfire. "Enemy contact!" it announced, turning to head out through the medbay. Tali quickly followed, retrieving her shotgun and scanning the area for hostiles.  
  
"Shit, shit, shit!" Jack cursed. "They got past us, dammit! Must have been holed up in the crew quarters! Six or seven of them."  
  
"Which way did they go?" Tali asked the group.  
  
Thane pointed. "To life support. Most likely making their way to the maintenance tunnels up to Deck 2."  
  
"Anybody still up there?" Zaeed asked.  
  
Tali pulled up her omnitool, and a holographic display of the Normandy appeared. "Mordin and Joker. A few of the bridge crew, maybe about four or five of them."  
  
"That salarian pencil neck won't stand a chance against those things on his own," Jack said. "And if those things get hold of our fucking pilot..."

"Mordin," Tali switched her omnitool to communication mode. "Collectors are heading to your position! Be ready for..." Tali stopped talking as she heard the sound of gunfire, followed by a loud explosion sound and the sound of Mordin crying out. "Dammit," Tali said. "First Grunt, now Mordin." Turning to the group she pointed. "Zaeed, Thane, follow me up to Deck 2! Jack and Legion, keep an eye out for any more surprises on this deck."  
  
"Shit, bad enough I gotta follow Shepard's orders," Jack snarked. "Now the grease monkeys are trying to tell me what to d...?" Jack's annoyed words were quickly cut off, as she felt the barrel of Tali's shotgun press up against her chin.  
  
"I don't have time for your attitude, Jack. If you'd rather join the fight down in engineering," Tali said with steel in her voice, "I'll gladly toss you down the lift shaft myself."  
  
Brushing Tali's gun aside, Jack bared her teeth. "Fine, fine, I'll play watch dog. Better get those hips of yours moving, before Joker's just a smear in the cockpit."  
  
Turning around, Tali and her chosen teammates dashed toward the door to life support.  
  
* * *  
  
After several minutes of climbing, Jacob finally felt the top of the lift under his feet, and released the cable.  
  
"We've got a problem," Kasumi informed him, the glow of her omnitool the only light in the darkness.  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" Jacob groused.  
  
Miranda reached out to put a hand on Jacob's shoulder, letting him know where she was in the darkness. "The door must have sustained damage from the lift being sent down at maximum speed. EDI doesn't seem to be able to open it."  
  
"Don't worry, though," Kasumi said. "I should have it open in just a few minutes."  
  
Jacob pulled his shotgun back out of his holster. "They're going to be crawling all over Engineering. We're gonna have to move fast if..."  
  
There was a loud thump, and the ground below them heaved upwards. "What the hell?" Jacob exclaimed, as another impact nearly knocked him off his feet.  
  
Through the metal of the lift's roof, they all heard a familiar sound. "Praetorian!" Miranda cried out.  
  
"Dammit, the impact must not have killed it," Jacob exclaimed. "Kasumi, tell me that door is almost open!"  
  
"I'm trying!" Kasumi yelled back, her fingers working quickly over the omnitool. "Just need to access the drive systems and..."  
  
Another thump, and suddenly a large claw was jutting out from the ground, inches away from where Jacob was standing. Slowly, the claw began tearing at the metal, forming a small opening that was growing larger by the second.  
  
"That thing fires off its beam in this shaft, and we won't stand a chance," Miranda said.  
  
"Kasumi, hurry!" Jacob exclaimed, as the hole grew wide enough to see the horrific beast below them.  
  
"What do you think I'm doing?" Kasumi snapped back. "Almost got it!"  
  
Jacob and Miranda edged up against the wall of the shaft as the hole below them grew even larger. The flare of the Praetorian's four glowing eyes was visible, growing brighter and brighter as it focused on the enemies above it.  
  
"Nearly there!" Kasumi said. "Got it!"  
  
"Go!" Miranda exclaimed, and the three of them rushed out into Engineering.  
  
Jacob looked back to see the creature hovering up through the hole it had created. "Dammit, it's still coming! Give it everything you've got, right..."  
  
And just as he went to pull the trigger, the praetorian was suddenly yanked back down into the lift. There were several loud slamming sounds and shrieking noises from the fused-husk creature, and then silence.  
  
"What happened?" Jacob said, turning to look out into the cargo bay. Suddenly, the praetorian came flying out from below them, hitting a crate with a loud smack.  
  
No, not the praetorian. HALF of the praetorian. The other half came soon afterward, leaking whatever bizarre fluids the Reapers used to create their horrific beasts.  
  
"Little help here," called out a voice from the hole in the lift ceiling. Stepping forward, Jacob looked down to see a gasping, blood-stained krogan looking back up at him.  
  
"Think somebody broke the elevator," Grunt said nonchalantly. "Gonna need a hand up."  
  
* * *  
  
"Jesus," Zaeed exclaimed, the first one up into the lab. "What the hell happened here?"

Tali followed, thankful for her olfactory filters once she saw the burnt mass of Collector corpses smoking across the floor of the laboratory. "Mordin? Are you here?"  
  
The three of them jolted as one of the floor panels jumped slightly into the air. "Very aggravating," said Mordin as he emerged from under the panel. "Ended up having to crawl today after all. Bashed knee on a pipe, back will ache for weeks after this."  
  
"Mordin, what happened?" Tali asked.  
  
"Was working on several different potential biological weapons to utilize on Collectors," Mordin stepped out of the crawlspace and brushed at his lab coat. "Had a nerve agent that was showing great promise, before Collectors started emerging from maintenance tunnel. Due to lack of progress on other avenues, determined incendiary device best defensive weapon." Inhaling deeply, he added. "Effective, yes, but would have preferred weapons with less... messy results."  
  
* * *  
  
"Collectors haven't tangled with a lot of krogan, I guess," Grunt said, after all three of the humans were finally able to haul him up onto the Engineering deck. "Go after a species with a redundant nervous system, you should probably make sure he's dead before turning your backs on him. Heh heh."  
  
"There's more of them coming," Kasumi announced, as a group of Collectors emerged in the main cargo bay and started hovering up to the shattered observation windows. "We gotta get moving!"  
  
"If all of you will please move into Engineering," EDI calmly spoke. "Once you have activated the primary drive, I can seal off Engineering and vent the level as we pull away. This should eliminate any further enemies currently on the ship."  
  
"Move, people," Jacob exclaimed, and the four of them dashed back into Engineering, the doors slamming shut behind them. Kasumi made her way over to one of the glowing panels, and within a few seconds was finished.  
  
"It's done," Kasumi proclaimed. "EDI has full control."  
  
* * *  
  
"We have control," EDI informed Joker.  
  
"Now you're talking," Joker exclaimed, reaching up to his control panel and inputting commands. "Swinging us around to an attack trajectory. I don't want to miss a second of this."  
  
The Normandy pulled away from the Collector Ship, engines firing as it got enough distance to get a good shot.  
  
"Thought you got us by surprise, didn't ya?" Joker taunted the Collector ship as the Normandy swung back around, pointing directly at the enemy vessel. "Thought you'd stick us in those pods like you did all those other people, huh? Well, this isn't just any ship you picked a fight with. This is the Normandy, bitches!"  
  
"And nobody... fucks... with the Normandy!" Joker stabbed the fire button with his finger, barely even feeling the pain of the bones splintering from the force.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh, no," said the shuttle pilot. "Shepard, you'd better take a look at this."  
  
Gail Shepard looked out of the cockpit window and felt her blood run cold. "The Collectors? How did they find us?"  
  
"We can't go back," Garrus said as she stared up at the enormous ship. "Even if their guns don't rip us to shreds on the way there, the ship is probably swarming with..."  
  
"Wait, look!" Shepard said, pointing up at the Collector vessel. "It's not moving at all. It's dead."  
  
"Yeah, I seem to remember it playing dead once before," Garrus remarked. Taking another look, he added. "But then again, that time the ship wasn't in multiple pieces."  
  
As they got closer, they all could see: the Collector ship had been hit with several massive blasts of energy, and parts of it were drifting away from the dormant bulk.  
  
"Normandy to Commander Shepard," said Joker's voice over the comms. "You missed one hell of a party."


End file.
